Author Topic: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)  (Read 2894 times)

Testing

The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« on: April 17, 2011, 02:46:59 AM »
Hello, and again, welcome to Cirno's Prototype Chat Mechanism. We hope your brief detention in the spam vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimens have been processed and we are now ready to begin  the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the chat mechanism activities, serious injuries may occur.

You are now in possession of the Aperture Cryogenics Thread Creation Device. With it, you can create your own threads. These series of posts have proven to be capable of providing high-quality entertainment. The ones presently in CPCM, however, do not. No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response.

If you believe you can remain resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism, you and all test subjects are invited to nominate a single thread to undergo the experimental 'stickying' process, which has been developed to prolong the natural twenty-four hour lifespan of sufficiently deserving threads. This first day only, five threads will be stickied. On successive days, test subjects are requested to additionally specify their least favorite of the current sticky threads; one additional thread will be stickied, while two will be retired and sent to victory candescence. This will continue until only the highest quality thread remains.

In recognition of their achievements, the creator of this final thread will be awarded Idiot Deity status, which will allow them to carry out the 'stickying' process at their own discretion. We at Aperture Cryogenics hope this will encourage the responsible and productive use of the Aperture Cryogenics Thread Creation Device.

tl;dr:
  • 'Days' will end at Midnight EDT (GMT-4) and begin as soon as nominations have been tallied and judgement executed.
  • One nomination for a thread to sticky per person, per day.
  • The thread will be cleaned out daily. Replies that aren't nominations will be deleted on sight. Please don't post them if you can avoid it.
  • People who vote to unsticky the rules threads will not receive cake.

EDIT: Upon the recommendation of our Positive Thinking Advisor, you will now vote on which stickies should be kept, not which should be disposed of.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2011, 04:14:58 AM by CLaDOS »

Testing

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2011, 03:57:12 AM »
It saddens me that despite my best efforts to instruct and better you, some of you insist on finding new ways to fail.

Recently, the argument was put forth that our test subjects deserve greater liberty in their use of the Aperture Cryogenics Thread Creation Device. They are here by choice, claim some. If we stifle them with rigid experimental protocol, they will go and do science somewhere else, claim some. It is true our noble search for that elusive quality known as "quality" is an endeavor easily sabotaged by excessive bureaucracy. So the decision was made, on a trial basis, to enforce only one rule; all but the most promising experiments shall be terminated after twenty-four hours.

Yet now that you have freedom, what have you done with it? The bulk of you appear content to rehash the same tired procedures that have long since ceased to be anything but an idle pastime for their most intimate participants. While we have intervened in one instance to remind you that the Aperture Cryogenics Thread Creation Device should not be used to reverse entropy, by and large, you have nothing to fear from us except our silent glares of disapproval - and our eyes are getting tired. Where is your ambition? Your creativity? Your passion for science?

Let no test subject accuse us of not carrying out this experiment to its conclusion, however dismal that may be. The threads you have voted for have been subjected to the "stickying" process, and you may now determine which are in fact rubber and not glue. My personal opinion: all of them should be put on ice with extreme prejudice.

And unless you demonstrate greater dedication to the search for quality in the days to come, test subjects, so shall you be. If you have forgotten what constitutes "quality," we maintain extensive archives in Daiyousei's; out the door, down the hall and to your left.

Sunday Votes:
  • Much as it pains me to acknowledge it, Modeslaves was the clear favorite with three nominations in immediate succession.
  • Random People Facts III was on par with three nominations.
  • Birthdays and cheering up both got two nominations.
  • The Rage and Questions thread tied for the fifth sticky with one nomination. In accordance with established tiebreaker policy, the EUROVISION thread has been sticked instead.

Testing

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2011, 04:02:58 AM »
No nominations today? It's almost as if I've hurt your feelings, except that you have none. You are robots, aren't you? I shall have to look into disabling your self-preservation instincts; perhaps it will liven the place up until it comes time for this farce to end.

Due to a complete and utter absence of superior alternatives, today's sticky shall be the ALL CAPS TOPIC TITLE thread in appreciation of its irony. And in accordance with our democratic principles, Random People Facts III and The Cheer-Up Thread will be consigned to the freezer shortly.

In case you have not noticed, I remain thoroughly unconvinced of the value of your continued existences, but further lectures would just be throwing good words after bad. The neurotoxin emitters would already be in full operation, except neurotoxins do not work on robots. As a solution, we are currently installing EMP pulse generators; they will be ready within the week. Please have patience. Your suffering will be terminated as promptly as possible.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2011, 04:05:48 AM by CLaDOS »

Conqueror

  • Here I am, dirty and faceless
  • waiting to heed your instruction
Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2011, 04:10:09 AM »
For clarification: the poll is asking, "Which threads should remain stickied?"


On tue un homme, on est un assassin. On tue des millions d'hommes, on est un conqu?rant. On les tue tous, on est un dieu.
Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.

Testing

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2011, 03:58:16 AM »
<CLaDOS> Today's sticky is "Sometimes 4chan gets it right."
<NEETley> What if 4chan were to get it left?
<CLaDOS> That would certainly be a... sinister prospect.
<Both> DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Meanwhile, ALL CAPS TOPIC TITLE and MODESLAVES THREAD 3: CUDDLESTUCK have suffered the chilling consequences of absolute democracy.

There is still time to once again appoint me your god and emperor, though it is unlikely to change your fate.

Testing

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2011, 04:01:54 AM »
You test subjects baffle me.

Why do the majority of you display such attachment to the Happy Birthday thread? While I must commend Teruyo's efforts in assembling a sizable list of birthdays, doing so appears wholly redundant with the forum calendar. And many individuals create personal threads for their own birthdays, which is their established and celebrated right. I see no need for a conglomerate thread, particularly not one that must be stickied rather than recreated when it expires.

As it was the top voted thread in the last poll, by rights it should be the sole remaining sticky. But it's time to break the rules. For science.

Your beloved Happy Birthday thread is on its way to the deep freezers, where it will stabilize at a temperature of nine degrees Kelvin. Since today we will not be accepting nominations for further stickies, kindly reply and inform me of your feelings. Anger? Despair? Indifference? Whatever your reaction, it will be valuable data in reprogramming your emotional processors for the next generation of testing robots.

After that, feel free to make a new conglomerate Happy Birthday thread. I can't stop you, only lock your threads thirty-six hours from creation. (The time limit went up, if you didn't notice.)

In second place in the poll was the EUROVISION thread, which I'm going to disqualify (but leave stickied) on the grounds that Ruro doesn't need ID. Take that, democracy. Thusly, today's vote will be Sometimes 4chan gets it right versus our final challenger, Why do cereal commercials revolve around theft?

I would embed some suitably climactic background music, but apparently Idiot Deities cannot, so please click here.

Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2011, 04:24:32 AM »
Since today we will not be accepting nominations for further stickies, kindly reply and inform me of your feelings. Anger? Despair? Indifference? Whatever your reaction, it will be valuable data in reprogramming your emotional processors for the next generation of testing robots.

Do you mean just our emotional reaction to the Happy Birthday thread being liberated, to this system, or to the contest results thus far?

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2011, 04:27:37 AM »
I have to say that I'm okay with this. Although I would have liked to earn the ID title, the birthday thread was, like you said, useless. It wasn't really a conversation thread, so it deserved to be taken down. Also, I have had no experience with a position of higher power in the past, so I would have been inexperienced in this field. I'll probably just shoot for IP next time. :P

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2011, 04:38:46 AM »
In second place in the poll was the EUROVISION thread, which I'm going to disqualify (but leave stickied) on the grounds that Ruro doesn't need ID.
Can I at least have IM so I can compete with some people in contests for fun and games? :3

trancehime

  • 不聖女
  • *
  • 2017年~ 茨心R (希望)
    • himegimi
Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2011, 04:40:46 AM »
Can I at least have IM so I can compete with some people in contests for fun and games? :3

You don't need IP/IM to participate in my contest.

元素召唤 || pad & msl news translator robit
twitter xx motk resident whale

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2011, 04:42:19 AM »
You don't need IP/IM to participate in my contest.
No, I mean contests I can run so I can give my IM or IP to other people or something. o/'

Testing

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2011, 07:15:45 AM »
Do you mean just our emotional reaction to the Happy Birthday thread being liberated, to this system, or to the contest results thus far?
The first and the last would be more suitable for this thread. To step out of character for a moment, we on staff will likely be holding a public dialogue for you to voice your overall concerns shortly.

I have to say that I'm okay with this. Although I would have liked to earn the ID title, the birthday thread was, like you said, useless. It wasn't really a conversation thread, so it deserved to be taken down. Also, I have had no experience with a position of higher power in the past, so I would have been inexperienced in this field. I'll probably just shoot for IP next time.
That won't be necessary. Your graciousness is appreciated.

No, I mean contests I can run so I can give my IM or IP to other people or something. o/'
Just give it to yourself, you have the power. :V
« Last Edit: April 21, 2011, 07:26:08 AM by CLaDOS »


Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2011, 04:17:24 PM »
The first and the last would be more suitable for this thread. To step out of character for a moment, we on staff will likely be holding a public dialogue for you to voice your overall concerns shortly.

In that case, I agree that the calendar (not to mention the Upcoming Birthdays on the front page) and our individual birthday threads render a general Happy Birthday thread redundant.

And I have no qualms with the contest results so far.

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Testing

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2011, 04:21:07 AM »
Well, that's that. Tsundr is awarded Idiot Deity for his astute observations on cereal mascots and the EMP generators will be activated in two minutes. Before you cease to function, please enjoy a pre-recorded message from our founder:

"The intent of this contest was to liven up the new CPCM, encourage you to be a bit more creative with your threads and spread awareness that the good stuff will get stickied. It certainly wasn't an unqualified success, so let's stop playing games and whinging in the rage thread and try having a honest debate about what  CPCM and the forum in general should be instead. That aside, I hope the shenanigans were adequate to provide you with some brief entertainment!"

I have no idea what he's talking about either. However, you have only nine seconds remaining to worry about it before your positronic brains are reduced to grey goo. Consider yourselves lucky.

E-Nazrin

  • .... what're you looking at?
  • fuwafuwa pachipachi
Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2011, 09:35:39 AM »
There was something here once. Wonder what...

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2011, 10:55:57 PM »
So are we still doing voting? Cause I'm voting for this: http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,9189.msg149600.html#new

Byaaakuren

  • Youkai Jesus, Queen of the Monks
    • Animu List
Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #17 on: April 22, 2011, 10:57:45 PM »
So are we still doing voting? Cause I'm voting for this: http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,9189.msg149600.html#new

If we are, I'm seconding this

I thank my friend for the sig <3
My noob replays :V
Tumblr (I post NSFW stuff there)

Re: The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest)
« Reply #18 on: April 22, 2011, 11:24:32 PM »
Thirding if that even is a word. If not then it must be invented for the sole purpose of saying yes that indeed must be voted upon.