Ah. Right, thanks Kilgamayan for the post edit. I'll do this one better. Maybe.
You...have the tendency to make the queerest mistakes. Sometimes I can barely put my finger on it, so let's go through it easy.
The first thing I noticed are the arms. They are painfully short. Stand up, set your arms down, relax, take a deep breath, take it easy....
Then look down and you should tell that your hands reach well below your hips. Perhaps the centre of your thighs.
Of course there's more:
-Where did her right hand go?
-Her left forearm doesn't seem to connect with the upper arm. That's because you drew both separately. At this angle it should be seen connected together, if my explanation makes any sense at all.
-Her armpits. I cannot stress this enough.The armpit is formed from under the arm and leads directly to the pecs, or boobs. Not only have you made the same mistake of drawing the whole arm out instead of it being attached to the shoulder (making it seem like it's just pasted on), but Okuu's right boob doesn't even start from where it should: the armpits.
-Lastly, the left hand is...very much wrong. It doesn't seem like a three dimensional object at all. For one, the thumb isn't so highly defined on the palm unless you deliberately scrunch your fingers close together.
-The 'peace' hand pose requires the thumb to be over the fourth and fifth finger. You absolutely can't put up both your middle and index finger upright and expect the other two to stay down. Because they won't.
-You should also be able to see the first joint of both the fourth and fifth fingers. Honestly, just copy the hand pose to yourself, and it'll do more explaining that I can.
Oh, and there's more wrong with the boobs too :V
-You definitely didn't align the boobs with the body angle. When you draw the left bra like this, it makes her boobs seem horribly misaligned.
For one, if her right boob started at where it should rightfully be (armpits), you should only see the side of it. Same angle for the left boob, which means it should stick out more. The left boob is also pretty misshapen too.
<Mami-Tomoe> the big one is probably the perspective on the hem of her thighhigh, or her leg band or whatever it is on her right thigh
<Mami-Tomoe> the leg should be angled toward the viewer, but the band is drawn like you're looking at the leg from the side
<Mami-Tomoe> just increase the curve a whole bunch and it should be fine
The legs look a little off to me, but since I can't put my finger on it I won't say much about them.
On another note, I want to ask if you are using guidelines at all. Many of these are very...glaring mistakes that shouldn't happen. I'd just like to know if there's some sort of underlying reason for all these problems which can be possibly fixed.
As expected of the great Mr. NAP, these are very concise criticisms, cutting right to the chase ^^
Mayhap, Mr. NAP participate in my doujin as a guest artist? It would be my utmost pleasure to cordially invite you to just draw something. Of course, where proper credit it due, it would be given~
I'm tempted, but I'm a terrible artist, so I'm afraid I'm gonna have to decline.
