English, with Ran Yakumo (SCHOOL'S OUT, GO GET SOME SUNLIGHT DAMMIT)

[Hello Purvis]

The beef industry was at steak!

either that or the fate of world.

Tobacco, for use as a long-term assassination and population control tool.

Thinking too materially there, kids.

They were after power. Not just the political kind; they were looking to change and usurp the beliefs of the world. You know how, you can ride that shit like a motorbike, and then you can break out the real whizbang sorceries, know what I mean? That's why it started with Sam Adam's making propaganda; he knew all about manipulating belief.

Now, the Anglican church knew all about this shit. So they sent one of their best adepts, William Howe. Lotta people looking at fake history wonder why he didn't just cut off the rebels at Bunker Hill. That's because he knew what the war was really about; if he crushed the rebels too early, they'd just shift further away from the Anglican church out of resentment. Instead, he let the war go on, and let its horrors make people desperate for God, any God. The Anglicans took a hit, to be sure, but there's still here. And they've not forgotten that shit, either. You don't wanna know what they really did to George Washington. Let's just say he was linked to King George III in a lot of ways, and there's a reason why George III went insane.

Any questions so far?

[E-Nazrin]

What role did the French play in all this, or is the 'official' story of spite to Britain roughly accurate there?

[Hello Purvis]

What role did the French play in all this, or is the 'official' story of spite to Britain roughly accurate there?

That's a good question. A lot of the official story was true, the French were helping out to fuck Britian's shit up. But one of the things they don't tell you was that Lafayette and Cornwallis had an old blood grudge going way, way back to the Hundred Years War, when Cornwallis' ancestor cursed Lafayette's ancestor, Jean Du Roche and made him into a monster. Lafayette tried to assassinate Cornwallis after Cornwallis surrendered, but Cornwallis had an adept put the Rasputin Curse on him; as we know it today. as for Jean Du Roche, he's still out there, buried under Paris. Once in awhile, some crazy fuck will try to let him out.

Any more questions.

[HakureiSM]

* Haku solos his guitar with amazing metal power at a very high volume. Everyone cheers.

:dragonforce:                                                                                                               :dragonforce:

[MysTeariousYukari]

Are you the embodiment of "the really cool teacher" or something, cause you sir, fit the god damn bill.

[E-Nazrin]

Ben Franklin.

[axman36]

What was Shay's rebellion really about?

[Hello Purvis]

Are you the embodiment of "the really cool teacher" or something, cause you sir, fit the god damn bill.

That'll get you a C. This is about the raw stuff, kid. Not buttkissing. Mind you, I didn't say stop.

Ben Franklin.

Oh man, you can do a whole course on that fuck. I'll give you a taste. You know when he "predicted" the death of that rival Almanac guy, then reported it as though it actually happened, then called the guy an impostor when he claimed he wasn't dead? That was just a disguise for the real ritual. Look at who actually died that day.

What was Shay's rebellion really about?

This one's pretty close on what actually happened. Shay was legit. Now Henry Gale...that little shit had plans. If he had had his way, the Kingdom of Massachusetts would have gone down, and lemme tell you, it wouldn't have people as its citizens. Maybe it's livestock, heh. He's one of the reasons the Founders decided to make the Constitution; so they could keep people like him from edging out their ideological stranglehold on the nation. Was it a good thing? Hard to say.

* Doctor Purvis MFD takes a long drag from cigarette, flicks ashes in the chalk tray.

[Nat Tea]

What did actually happen to Billy Mays?

[♛ Apher-Forte]

I object!

The Counter Roman Rite were Parisians disguised as Pakistani infidels that try to plague modern day churches with smoked sandwiches and promises of a better afterlife, together with the likes of MC Hammer and Will Smith back when he was Fresh Prince.

I mean, surely you professor see the connection of those plastic bag pants and golden shoes they tapped in.

[Hello Purvis]

What did actually happen to Billy Mays?

That thing that walloped him on the head? That was the result of a ritual pulled off by the Sham-Wow guy to win once and for all. From what I hear, he didn't mean that kind of once and for all.

I object!

The Counter Roman Rite were Parisians disguised as Pakistani infidels that try to plague modern day churches with smoked sandwiches and promises of a better afterlife, together with the likes of MC Hammer and Will Smith back when he was Fresh Prince.

I mean, surely you professor see the connection of those plastic bag pants and golden shoes they tapped in.

That's the Counter Roman Right.

And you don't wanna know that those smoked sandwiches represent. Because if you thought eating the blood and flesh of Christ was fucked up...

[E-Nazrin]

Oh man, you can do a whole course on that fuck. I'll give you a taste. You know when he "predicted" the death of that rival Almanac guy, then reported it as though it actually happened, then called the guy an impostor when he claimed he wasn't dead? That was just a disguise for the real ritual. Look at who actually died that day.

Which day? There are three dates involved in that. Or are you implying three kills in a grammar slip?

[Solais]

I thought the Freemasons are the Templars bent on mind controlling the people and world domination.

[Hello Purvis]

Which day? There are three dates involved in that. Or are you implying three kills in a grammar slip?

That's all one point in time. He predicted the death of Titan Leeds, a rival almanac writer, in Poor Richard's Almanac. When the day came, and Leeds was still alive, he reported that Leeds had died anyways. Leeds tried to say otherwise, so Franklin called Leeds an impostor.

But that's just a cover story. You gotta look at who really died that day to see what Franklin was up to.

I thought the Freemasons are the Templars bent on mind controlling the people and world domination.

Templars were just bankers trying to figure out how to get an international finance stranglehold going. Mind, that's not too different than what you were saying. But what you ought to be looking at is why Clement V used that charges that he did. Hint: The evidence was real, but wasn't the Templars doing it.

[WHMZakeri]

Templars were just bankers trying to figure out how to get an international finance stranglehold going. Mind, that's not too different than what you were saying. But what you ought to be looking at is why Clement V used that charges that he did. Hint: The evidence was real, but wasn't the Templars doing it.

Wait, I'm lost.
I thought only the Lizard people could become templars, and only after Training as a Monk and Bishop...?

[Thata no Guykoro]

Personally, I always thought it was that Leeds had died, it was part of Franklin's plan. Get a man to kill Leeds and impersonate him on that day, then claim he wasn't dead, be exposed as an imposter... With Leeds both dead and discredited, Franklin would be able to corner the market.

[Hello Purvis]

Wait, I'm lost.
I thought only the Lizard people could become templars, and only after Training as a Monk and Bishop...?

Naw, that was never their style. Next you'll be telling me about fencers with bunny ears (There was only the one in the 18th century, before you start).

Personally, I always thought it was that Leeds had died, it was part of Franklin's plan. Get a man to kill Leeds and impersonate him on that day, then claim he wasn't dead, be exposed as an imposter... With Leeds both dead and discredited, Franklin would be able to corner the market.

Franklin only tangentially cared about the money. The real thing he was doing was getting instructions out to his cabal, which was flung all over. I don't doubt he liked the money, but it's not his main deal.

Right, next question: Henry Clay, and what he's up to today. Go.

[WHMZakeri]

Naw, that was never their style. Next you'll be telling me about fencers with bunny ears (There was only the one in the 18th century, before you start).

What? No, that has to be wrong. It says here in this textbook ...Why would History class ask to bring in a textbook like this? See, it's right here on my schedual sheet ... actually, wait, no. Nevermind, this was assigned for English. I should be in english right now, but I ... must have stepped into the wrong class? (Weird, I thought it was here... and I remember seeing Ran Yakumo, the teacher ... or maybe that was just when I was playing?) Excuse me, I should go now.

* Zakeri excuses himself from his seat and leaves the room, looking both ways down the hallway before picking a random direction and wandering confused

[E-Nazrin]

Don't tell me YOU'RE Henry Clay.

[Mr_Bob]

Will you do a bit on the Whiskey Rebellion, or maybe Bacon's Rebellion?

[♛ Apher-Forte]

Henry Clay is playing by the river when a huge icky spider came down a tree and he asked it where be the rainbow that will lead him to a pot of gold well hidden by the Irish leperchaun known as Jock van Anglecock

[MysTeariousYukari]

Henry Clay is up to something they don't want us to know about.

[Hello Purvis]

Don't tell me YOU'RE Henry Clay.

You're a laugh a minute, kid.

Will you do a bit on the Whiskey Rebellion, or maybe Bacon's Rebellion?

I'll touch on those in a bit. But here's the quick lowdown. The Whiskey Rebellion wasn't over exporting liquor down the mississippi. It was about "Tom the Tinker's" campaign to addict the Shawnee to liquor he had laced with a bit of a charge. But thanks to that tax, he couldn't get enough to pull the whammy he wanted to on them.

As for the Bacon Rebellion, well, there's a reason why the Native Americans' shamans never had enough juice to stop the US, and a reason why the Confederates thought they could take the US.

Henry Clay is playing by the river when a huge icky spider came down a tree and he asked it where be the rainbow that will lead him to a pot of gold well hidden by the Irish leperchaun known as Jock van Anglecock

That's icy spider, actually. Still, pretty damn good. Now, what's the river? And if you're a real duke, what instrument is he playing?

Henry Clay is up to something they don't want us to know about.

Yep. Af got it. He's trying to force an alliance between the US and the Seelie. Who the hell knows what'll happen if he succeeds?