English, with Ran Yakumo (SCHOOL'S OUT, GO GET SOME SUNLIGHT DAMMIT)

[GMOFucker: Makin' GMOs To Fuck 'Em]

* Sakana  gathers books from the Library for a nice bonfire in the classroom

In times like this, there is only one proper thing to do.

Let's make S'mores!

[FinnKaenbyou]

Very well then.

* Tengukami urinates onto the floor, singing, "Puru puru pururin, puru pururin, puru puru pururin ..."

Puru and Pururin are not words. See me after class.
But first, go to the bathroom and stop wetting yourself. Also, borrow a mop from the janitor so you can clean up after yourself.

* Sakana  gathers books from the Library for a nice bonfire in the classroom

I can't expect that Professor Okazaki will be very impressed by your 'borrowing'.

In times like this, there is only one proper thing to do.

Let's make S'mores!

Some extra work for you - look through this dictionary and find me the word 's'mores'. You aren't allowed to leave class until you're done.

[Dead Princess Sakana]

I can't expect that Professor Okazaki will be very impressed by your 'borrowing'.

I don' know no 'Professor Okazaki', Sir. I only know Professor Kamashiraruro, and she can reverse history, so it's okay.

* Sakana puts more books into the fire

[Pesco]

のゥの

[FinnKaenbyou]

I don' know no 'Professor Okazaki', Sir. I only know Professor Kamashiraruro, and she can reverse history, so it's okay.

Ah, apologies. I forgot that most students don't know about her secret identity.
Also, you appear to be missing a letter.

のゥの

I'm calling your mother when class is over.

[Dead Princess Sakana]

Also, you appear to be missing a letter.

I'm blaming Miss Inaba, she must have stolen it.

[Pesco]

I'm calling your mother when class is over.

I'm calling YOUR mother right now

[HakureiSM]

* urameshyaa~ ?

[Tengukami]

I'm calling YOUR mother right now

* Tengukami pokes head through the classroom door.

OH SNAP!

* Tengukami continues dabbing at urine stains in jeans with someone's jacket he found in an open locker.

[Caber Knight Etch-A-Sketch]

*draws on the desk quietly*

[HakureiSM]

Motherfucker, that my jacket!

* Haku starts a teenagefight with Tengukami.

[Tengukami]

Watch my hair! Not the hair! Ouch! Hang on! Wait!

* Tengukami reaches into his pocket, produces pint of Jack.

Let's cut this place and kill this bottle.

[Nat Tea]

* Choja Hiragawa wears a hat that ejects pudding from its top

[FinnKaenbyou]

I'm calling YOUR mother right now

Ah, the faultless wit of the next generation. It brings a tear to my eye, and a throbbing pain to my skull.

* urameshyaa~ ?

No capital letter, foreign onomatopoeia, and a disembodied head? A poor showing, Miss Hakurei.

*draws on the desk quietly*

Vandalism, I see. I'd like to have a conference with your mother in the near future, Miss Gap. Not another slip for her to sign as usual - I'm relatively sure you've been forging those for some time now.

As for the two rebels over here - you're looking for 'that's', 'teenagefight' isn't a word, you can't kill a bottle...you know what? Just get out. Both of you.

* Choja Hiragawa wears a hat that ejects pudding from its top

How is this relevant to anything?

[Nat Tea]

How is this relevant to anything?

Because pudding makes everyone happier! I've heard from a certain someone that it's also brain food.

You should have some. It's chocolate!

[communist unity (comm-unity)]

dec?i?mate
   /ˈdɛsəˌmeɪt/ Show Spelled[des-uh-meyt]
?verb (used with object),-mat?ed, -mat?ing.
1.
to destroy a great number or proportion of: The population was decimated by a plague.

Meaning "I, Dark Evil Lord, shall decimate you." only works if there is actually a large number of what you are decimating.

Regardless, it still sounds cool and that's what matters in the first place!

[HakureiSM]

* Haku  brofists Tengukami and is happy to leave at teacher's command, to kill that good ol' Jack.

[FinnKaenbyou]

Because pudding makes everyone happier! I've heard from a certain someone that it's also brain food.

You should have some. It's chocolate!

No eating in class. And clean up your pudding before you leave.

Oh, and I don't accept bribes. Stop trying.

Meaning "I, Dark Evil Lord, shall decimate you." only works if there is actually large number of what you are actually decimating.

Very interesting look at the question. I'll give you a gold sta-

Regardless, it still sounds cool and that's what matters in the first place!

-Never mind. I think you break even now.

[Hello Purvis]

* Doctor Purvis MFD raises hand.

Miss Yakumo, why do you hate evolution? Are you a youth earth creationist?

[Tengukami]

* Tengukami takes a swig of whiskey.

The problem with Ran's prescriptivism is that if the self-appointed Guardians of the English Language thought this way in the 10th century, we'd still be using words with gender, declining nouns, and using crazy-ass letters like ? and ?. Language evolves and changes. Citing the ancient Roman meaning of "decimate" is laughable. Is English grammar carved in immutable stone for all time? Or is it a living thing that changes with its speakers, and the times they live in? I reject your prescriptivism, Ran! You are a tyrant, and an enemy of the language you think you protect! I would remind you that it was Winston Churchill who once said-

* Tengukami vomits onto the floor.

E-Excuse me ...

[♛ Apher-Forte]

* Alstroemeria-F crosses legs on the table

"What ya going about there, Yakumo-san? Heh? What you staring at? HRRRRR?"

[Nat Tea]

yo :ohdear: teacher :ohdear: why can :ohdear: t you chillax :ohdear:

you :ohdear: re really stressed :ohdear: man :ohdear:

[Caber Knight Etch-A-Sketch]

*is in shock*

Waaaiiit! What do you mean?! I just transfered here!! And this is my portfolio, SEE?!

*lift's up desk, showing that the surface is actually a giant canvas, not the desk*

[Hello Purvis]

The problem with Ran's prescriptivism is that if the self-appointed Guardians of the English Language thought this way in the 10th century, we'd still be using words with gender, declining nouns, and using crazy-ass letters like ? and ?. Language evolves and changes. Citing the ancient Roman meaning of "decimate" is laughable. Is English grammar carved in immutable stone for all time? Or is it a living thing that changes with its speakers, and the times they live in? I reject your prescriptivism, Ran! You are a tyrant, and an enemy of the language you think you protect! I would remind you that it was Winston Churchill who once said-

I think Miss Yakumo hates evolution because she hates other religions. =[

[FinnKaenbyou]

* Doctor Purvis MFD raises hand.

Miss Yakumo, why do you hate evolution? Are you a youth earth creationist?

I see no point in having a religious debate with a man who recites lines like 'EARTH HAS 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE IN ONLY 24 HOUR ROTATION.'

You are a tyrant, and an enemy of the language you think you protect! I would remind you that it was Winston Churchill who once said-

* Tengukami vomits onto the floor.

E-Excuse me...

I would have started on how this supposed evolution of the language is nowhere near as complete as you would like to believe, citing words such as zugzwang and schadenfreude, but you seem too busy wiping up your own vomit to notice. I think we should simply call this a win for me and move on.

"What ya going about there, Yakumo-san? Heh? What you staring at? HRRRRR?"

I'm staring at your hind quarters, which I expect to be making their way to the principal's office shortly.

yo :ohdear: teacher :ohdear: why can :ohdear: t you chillax :ohdear:

you :ohdear: re really stressed :ohdear: man :ohdear:

Chillax is not a word.

*is in shock*

Waaaiiit! What do you mean?! I just transfered here!! And this is my portfolio, SEE?!

*lift's up desk, showing that the surface is actually a giant canvas, not the desk*

I'm confiscating that apostrophe. And all of those unnecessary punctuation marks you've thrown in.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. My blood pressure must be in four digits by now.

[HakureiSM]

* Haku grins at his fellow drunkard philosophing over words and drinks some more.

boy we soon gon be needin' dat place tred fing wher we talk drunbk.

[Tengukami]

Show me where I contended that the evolution of the English language is complete! I said quite the contrary, Miss!

* Tengukami continues wiping up vomit with math textbook.

I said it was YOU who is a prescriptivist fascist, citing millenia-old meanings for words. Really!

[FinnKaenbyou]

boy we soon gon be needin' dat place tred fing wher we talk drunbk.

Just...just get out. I might be joining you after class ends. I need to forget this class as thoroughly as possible.

I said it was YOU who are a prescriptivist fascist, citing millenia-old meanings for words. Really!

Oh, I apologise. I'm sorry that this remedial class is offending you. Please, feel free to correct me around the time you receive a degree in linguistics. What's that? You don't have one right now? Then keep your opinions to yourself.

[Nat Tea]

Chillax is not a word.

Can I call you a bro then?

[FinnKaenbyou]

Can I call you a bro then?

Why is it so difficult to say something like Miss Yakumo, or Yakumo-sensei? Don't you see these clumps of flesh on my chest?

...Gah, my head. Give me a minute to catch my breath...