Author Topic: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread the First  (Read 531049 times)

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #810 on: June 07, 2011, 12:37:00 AM »
Finally! My inability to write for extended periods of time or properly manage drama will no longer be liabilities ;->
I should be doing CAS reflections. I should be counting this as C. Ah, whatever.
If you make it part of some kind of class publication, though, you could totally pass that off as S!
I had no idea there were other IB students here. Nice to see that IB reflections are still as annoying as ever. :P

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #811 on: June 07, 2011, 03:49:56 AM »
A ringing sound cut off with a nasty twanging noise.  Without opening her eyes, the kappa slammed the clock on the top to stop it and groaned.  Way too early.  She shoved herself off her pillow, rubbing her head.  And it's already hot.  Ugh.

Nitori groggily stood, discarding the sweaty sheets.  Her blue hair was knotted and lank, her tank and shorts were sweaty and her bed was a lost cause.  Time for a dip.  She rifled through her drawers for a moment helplessly before giving up, and grabbed another tank top and shorts off the floor from...a week ago?  Two?  The room was a mess.  Various scribbles and blueprints were mixed in with discarded clothing and a few dirty dishes. Laundry was something that happened to other people; Nitori's favorite way of washing clothing was to wear it when she went underwater.  She scooped up another blueprint and stuffed it in her bag, grabbed her latest camo prototype from the desk, and went outside.

The workshop-turned-house was only around twenty feet from the river here, but it was already blazing hot outside and the kappa wasted no time in getting to the water.  She waded in up to her knees before stopping and securing her backpack and pulling the waterwarding mesh over it.  A nice little fusion of engineering and magic (though Nitori preferred to keep the two separate when possible), the mesh allowed her to take her backpack with her underwater without water getting inside, useful when she was going somewhere with her latest experiments and goods.  Got to drop by the forest today, too.  Arrggggh!

The mesh secured, Nitori lay back into the water.  Aaaaaaahhhhhhh...bliss.  The cool water soothed away much of the tension the moment it hit her skin.  Sometimes, with the way Gensokyo is today, it's easy to forget that kappa are a water race.

Still, she couldn't just laze in the water today, sweet though it might be.  Nitori took off with powerful strokes down the river - she'd take it as far as the human village, and walk from there.  A few fish nosed past her as she swam, but for the most part she was alone with her thoughts.  It took around fifteen minutes until she popped out from the water into the blistering air.  Swearing, the kappa pulled herself out of the water and onto the riverbank, and shook out the camo prototype.

It took the form of a disk of a light metallic cloth, roughly a foot and a half in diameter, but extended a field around the user that would theoretically cover them.  One of the bonuses of the refraction technology, Nitori had found, was that it kept her quite cool on hot sunny days like today, at least for a little while.  She engaged it with a whispered word and a flick of a finger, and shimmered out of sight.

It was a short and tolerable walk to the bamboo forest, where Nitori let the camo drop again.  The residents of the forest were attuned to a lot more things than sight and tended to react...preemptively...to anything that tried to conceal itself.  The engineer sighed and walked forward carefully, keeping an eye out for traps.

An uneventful walk later she reached a small house in the woods.  "Hello?"  Nitori looked around, but no response came.  Guess she's out.  Maybe I should have stopped in the village after all.  Shrugging, the kappa removed her backpack and laid it down on the ground.  She removed the mesh from around it and opened the top pocket, drawing out a small kettle with a bit of machinery hooked up to it.  A basic steam engine with a water-refilling charm on it; low output, but Mokou had requested it as a testing phase.  The kappa laid it on the front doorway and turned to leave.

"Hey, kappa."  The voice came, laconic, accompanied by the phoenix herself, lounging against one of the trees.  Nitori started.  "Just leave it there."

"Do you have to do that?" Nitori snapped.

"Geez, calm down," Mokou said, detaching herself from the shade.  "It's too damn hot to be yelling."

Probably why I was yelling in the first place, the kappa though.  "Sorry.  You startled me."

"Was kinda the point."  Mokou poked at the apparatus a few times.  "This ought to work.  Thanks, kappa."

"No problem.  See you tomorrow at the workshop?"

"Count on it."

Nitori nodded and started heading back the way she came, finally fully alert and buzzing with ideas.  Let's see, the camo prototype worked fairly well today, but still needs more dapple testing, still need to update the plans from the last three versions, the energy transfer network is in pretty dire need of some more work as well today - lousy contractor tengu - oh, and I should probably eat something, too...

All things considered, the kappa thought, as she took a bite of a cucumber she'd found in a side pocket, just another day.

yeah i dunno

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Phlegeth

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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #812 on: June 07, 2011, 06:50:22 AM »
I have friend just as messy as that Nitori.

* * *

In a little house in a little region of a place called Gensokyo, there sit a little girl with purple hair with a flower in it.  Deadlines, she thought herself looking at the calender on the wall, always make the nicest whooshing noise as they fly past.  A wise man told me that, she thought to herself and her eyes traveled to a book she had laying out.  ?Don't panicbomb,? was written on the cover.  She walked over and opened it to a blank page.  She stared at it for a second before closing it and walking to the window.  If I stay her any long I might start working, she thought to her self and hopped out the window.

She went for a little stroll that took her all the way to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.  ?Yo!? she waved at Meiling as she passed by the gate.

?Good evening, Miss Akyu,? Meiling waved back.  ?You know your editor told me to tell her if I see you.?

?Oh well, I'm gathering inspiration,? Akyu said walking off.

Meiling just smiling to herself and shook her head, ?Guess it's alright then!?  She yelled in the direction Akyu disappeared.

?Geez, that editor,? Akyu said to herself.  ?I wonder how many spies she has.?  While she was thinking to herself, she wondered to the foot of Youkai Mountain.

?Such misfortune,?Akyu turned and saw Hina spinning toward her.  ?I've seen you, so now I'll have to report you.?

?Or you could not,? Akyu said with a sheepish grin.

?Hmm,? Hina put her finger under her chin pretending to think very hard, ?I never thought of it that way.  It's not like I see your editor every day.  So I guess you're free to go,? Hina smiled and spun off.

?I could use a drink,? she thought to herself and headed for the underground elevator.

In the underground there's this bar called Acheron's.  It's a small place, but attracts a lot of business.  Mainly cause it's so far out of the way, slackers can come and, well, slack.  As such, Akyu and a certain shinigami have become regulars.

?Yo!? Akyu said coming through the door.

?Akyu!? everyone turned and waved.

?Cheers!? she said and took a seat at the bar.  After a few moments someone else came in.

?Yo!? she yelled.

?Komachi!?  everyone turned and waved.

?Akyu!? she exclaimed and took the seat next to her.  She held up a finger to the bartender and he brought out a small shot glass filled with some clear liquid.

?Having fun?? Akyu asked.

Komachi downed the shotglass in one gulp and let out a healthy sigh, ?Am now!?  And they both laughed.

After a few moments of silence Komachi spoke up, ?Never gets easier.  Especially the young ones.?  Akyu nodded.  ?They always say the same thing, 'I'm too young!' or 'How'd this happen!' or 'I don't want to go!'?  She looked at Akyu.  ?Well, it's not just the young ones who say that.  No one wants to go.?

?Sometimes...? Akyu stared.  Komachi looked at her.

?It's rough for you too,? she sighed.  ?I remember the first time.?

?I haven't accomplished anything,? they both said in unison.

?And I didn't,? Akyu said.  ?My first life I just wrote the history like I was suppose, I saw everything, but I didn't get to experience anything.  Just once, I'd like to go with no regrets.?

?Heh,? Komachi laughed, ?those who say they have no regrets when dieing sing a different tune when they see me.?

The door to the bar swung open and small looking girl with green hair and stern look on her face walked in.  Akyu saw the reflection in her glass, Komachi didn't.

?That may be true,? Akyu said getting up, ?but this time, what little of it I have, I'm going to come close.  And this whole conversation has been a downer.  I'm need to do something to entertain myself for a bit after that.?  She turned around, ?Long time no see, Judge!?

?BLACK!?  she yelled and Komachi almost choked on her drink.  ?What were you thinking?  No don't answer I'll tell you what you were thinking!  Nothing!?

?Whoa, are you related to Komeiji?? someone said while walking in.  Shikieiki turned around and looked up at the tall blonde woman smiling at her.  ?Any Komeiji is a friend of mine!?  She laughed, ?up see daisy!?  She grabbed Shikieiki under the arms and lifted her into the air.  ?Koishi used to love this!?

?NO!  Put me down!  Lifting up the Judge of the Dead is black!  Very, very BLACK!? she yelled.

Akyu looked over at Komachi who was on the floor laughing.

?Of course it's impossible to die with no regrets.  There's always something left behind.  Whether it's something or people,? Akyu thought to herself.

* * *

And I proofread...a little bit.  I'm so bad at that xD

Yuyuko Yakumo

  • Carry me~ow
  • Rawr I eat your face with maaaaaagicalness
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #813 on: June 07, 2011, 07:16:26 AM »
Oh god, I loved the end. I almost copied Komachi.

I should get to finishing my story if I want to have it be read.
I know, I know. I'll get a real avatar and signature soon. -_-

CS

  • Undying hunger
  • Om nom nom
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #814 on: June 07, 2011, 08:00:48 AM »
My first entry for a WWC...

==========

?Everyone ready?? said Sunny Milk, the leader as she stood by the door and looked around the room.

Chen nodded as she gulped and tightened the grip on her axe. Daiyousei stood in one corner, sobbing. ?I don?t know if this is a good idea?? said Dai; her legs slightly trembling beneath her.

?Too late to turn back now, Dai. Let?s go!? said the leader, puffing out her flat chest in confidence.

?WEEEEEEEE!!!? went the other fairy, Luna Child, as she rammed into the wall multiple times.

?What are you doing, girl? Let?s get a move on, quick! Before they come for us!? the leader said again. ?Everyone ready?? she asked.

?Yes!? the three girls said simultaneously, albeit in three different tones. Luna?s was full of confidence in it. Chen?s was filled with worry and Dai?s was trembling as if she wasn?t as ready as she said.

Sunny Milk slowly turned the handle and opened up the door, leading out of the roof. It was silent? a little TOO silent?

The girls cautiously made their way down the stairs, making sure not to make too much noise. The only exit from that little room was only big enough for one person at a time. So the girls went, one by one. Sunny led the way, followed by a shivering Chen and happy-go-lucky Luna. Dai looked around the room, her legs still trembling from the sheer fear that something might just pop out of the darkness and-

*cough*

?GOTCHA!? a voice exclaimed from the darkness at the top of the stairs.

?EEEEEK!!!? Dai screamed at the top of her lungs, gasping for air as a long, whip-like thing -like a tongue- wrapped around her neck, dragging her back up the stairs. ?HELP!? she shouted again. Her attempts to struggle her way out failed miserably as the whip-like tongue constricted her arms too.

?MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Eye?ve gotcha now! EYE?M DA STRONGEST!? proclaimed the voice.

?Cirno? Why? Why are you doing this to me? Cirno, please stop! Aren?t we friends!?? Dai said to the creature atop the stairs. The creature smiled back at Dai as it dragged her right in front of it and struck its claws upon the little fairy.

?What?s gotten into you, Cirno?? the poor fairy said, almost in tears. ?Why? Why are you doing this??

The creature, however, continued slashing its claws at Daiyousei, showing no mercy at all. Its face was covered in lumps and a huge tumor covered half its face.

?Die! Die! DIE!!!? said the creature, laughing maniacally. ?It?s over, puny little fairy??

Then came the little nekomata, Chen, with her axe, right at the creature?s direction. With all her might, she swung the axe downwards at the creature Dai called ?Cirno? and it fell to the ground, headless. A cloud of green smoke was expelled from its body and the tumor that was cut in half excreted a putrid-smelling green liquid.

The two coughed aloud, covering their eyes and mouths as the green smoke cloud grew larger and filled the air, obscuring their vision and making them feel like throwing up.

?Are you two okay?? said Sunny as she stood beside Luna. The smoke was clearing up. They all knew that if they did not continue their journey quickly, it would be over for them.

The two stood up, took a deep breath and nodded their heads. And so the four prepared themselves for the journey ahead of them. Slowly, they got down the stairs once again?

?Boo!?

?EEEEEK!? Dai gave out a loud shriek again as yet another creature appeared from their only way out. This one was fat, with a bloated belly and an enlarged neck.

Sunny Milk let out a gasp. ?Wriggle, is that you!??

?Hehe? you bet?? replied the monster.

?TAKE THIS!? shouted Chen in a battlecry-like tone as she swung the axe down on it again. ?CHEN! NO!? the group shouted at her but was too late. As soon as the axe touched the monster named Wriggle, a malicious grin cut its face from ear to ear as it exploded in a pile of green ooze, showering the four girls in it.

?Ah!?

?I can?t see!?

?Help!?

Their voices filled the little room they were in, causing echoes everywhere. No one could see a thing at all. And then they heard a weird gurgling noise, followed by a spit.

?OUCH!? screamed Chen.

?Owowowowow?? Dai followed.

When the green, slimy ooze?s effect slowly cleared off, they noticed yet another threat they were in? right under them?

It was an acidic liquid, covering a whole lot of ground, causing a burning sensation on whatever it comes in contact with.

?Mystia! Where are you? Hurry!? a mysterious voice said. ?I fell off the building?? a mysterious reply came out. ?No worries, eye?m here!? yet another voice out of nowhere.

And then time froze. Everything began slowly fading to black.

----------

?What!? What happened?? said Cirno

?Alright girls, your time is up. That?ll be fifty gold pieces. Per person?? the shopkeeper pushed up his glasses with his index finger with a grin on his face as he walked out from behind the counter, to the row of computers where the girls were sitting.

A short bunny girl patted him on his back. ?That?s it, Kourin my boy. If ya? wanna make money, that?s how ya? do it??

?Hehe, at this rate, I?ll be rich. Thanks so much, Tewi. Never thought you?ll help me one day?? the shopkeeper said, laughing inside like a mad man. ?I?m rich! Rich rich rich! FILTHY RICH! Hahaha!? he thought.

?It?s not free, ya? know?? the bunny girl said with her hand outstretched. ?That?ll be eighty percent of your earnings for the day.? She winked at the man.

?I guess I can?t help it. I really have to thank you for this?? the shopkeeper gave the girl a gentle smile. ?I?ll get them to pay up firs-?

Right as he turned to the group of girls, they all stood by the door. ?She?s paying!? Cirno said, pointing to a girl in blue, tied up onto one of the chairs. And everyone left without a trace.

?Hey! You guys! WAIT! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO-? Star Sapphire said. A tall, dark figure approached her from behind. ?Pay up, little girl? or else?? the man said with a deep, scary voice.

----------

Meanwhile, several meters outside of Kourindou?

?Hey, that was kinda fun guys. Let?s do it again one day?? said Sunny.

?Yeah, girls. Let?s.? Luna continued.

?Eye don?t get it,? said the ice fairy. ?How could you girls have fun when it was only a few minutes long? The lag at the beginning there ruined everything too!?

?Oh, we didn?t mean the game. We meant Star getting what she deserved.? Luna and Sunny smiled. ?Yeah, she deserved it!?

?NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!? a scream pierced the sky, up into the heavens above.

?You heard something?? Dai asked.

?Nope?? was their reply as the girls walked into the distance with huge smiles on their faces after a girls? day out. It?s fun when you get to hang out with your friends on an ordinary day here in Gensokyo, no?
« Last Edit: June 07, 2011, 11:54:10 AM by CS »
Madness?

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #815 on: June 07, 2011, 08:18:57 AM »
One spot left. If it gets filled, I can do prepare my Judgment early, and may be able to come up with another set of Short Story Challenges before the week is out.

Yuyuko Yakumo

  • Carry me~ow
  • Rawr I eat your face with maaaaaagicalness
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #816 on: June 07, 2011, 10:30:34 PM »
Ahhhhh.... gotta finish my entry then! Phew, I think I made it. This is only part 1, because it was cut due to time and length. I'll post the second part later though. It's all about the Aki sisters because they don't get enough attention :3 .
___________________________________________________________

Minori no Aki- Harvest of Autumn

Near the base of Youkai Mountain lies a small house, surrounded by hundreds of orange trees. The house itself is in a clearing of the forest, where leaves of various colors scatter across the ground. Here, the two Aki sisters reside, goddesses of the colorful season of autumn.

The younger sister stands in the kitchen, chopping up apples for breakfast. She dices the apples into tiny cubes, and places them in a bowl. As she takes out bread from the pantry, the other sister walks sleepily into the kitchen.

“Good mooooooorning, Mini…” she mutters to Minoriko while yawning. She managed to get herself dressed and into the kitchen, yet she still seems half-asleep. She wears her traditional autumn clothes: a red-orange dress cut with a leaf pattern on the bottom, long red sleeves, and red leaves in her bright yellow hair. Stumbling to the table in the center of the room, she plops down with a “Pyuu…” on the ground.

“You’re hopeless, onee-chan,” Minoriko teases as she finishes spreading the jam onto slices of bread. When she takes the finished bread and apples to the table, she notices that Shizuha is quickly dozing off, She would close her eyes and start falling to the side, but jerk back upright and open her eyes awake, only to start falling again.

Close, fall, jerk, open. Close, fall, jerk, open. Close, fall, jerk, open. This happens several times before Minoriko snaps her fingers in front of her older sister.

“Pyuu~…?” Shizuha mumbles in her half-conscious state. She turns to face Minoriko. “Oh, hello, Mini,” she says, but still not fully awake yet. She soon returns to her falling over act.

Minoriko sighs. “I guess I have to do everything for you,” she says to the dozing Shizuha. Minoriko takes the bread covered in jam and sprinkles some of the tiny apple pieces on it. She snaps her fingers again to the get her older sister’s attention, and holds a corner of the bread in front of her. “Say ‘aah’,” Minoriko instructs.

“Aaaaah…” Shizuha copies, opening her mouth. Minoriko feeds the bread to Shizuha as she takes a small bite out of it. Minoriko repeats the process, instructing Shizuha to say ‘aah’ and then chew and then swallow.

“Why do you need to leave so early today, Mini?” Shizuha asks. By the time breakfast ended, Shizuha was able to fully wake herself up. Minoriko had excused herself from the table and returned fully dressed. She wears a red dress with a battern of wheat on the bottom, a blouse underneath with puffy yellow sleeves, black straps over her shoulders to hold her dress up, and a grape-shaped hairpiece. Neither sister wears shoes as they prefer the pure feeling of nature underfoot as they walk outside.

Minoriko was heading out the door when Shizuha presses the question to her. “You don’t remember?” Minoriko asks. Shizuha pauses to think, then shakes her head. “I’ve explained it to you before. I’m heading down to the Human Village to perform the harvest ceremony they hold every year. It helps them grow a bountiful crop every year.”

Shizuha’s face brightens in recognition. “Oh, I remember now! But why do you get to go and not me?”

“Well, they’ve only invited me every year,” Minoriko answers.

“Huh? Why’s that? I’m just as important to autumn, too,” Shizuha pouts.

“It’s not really my choice; it’s the humans’.” Minoriko shrugs. “And frankly, I’m not sure if they would appreciate leaf turning as much as harvesting.”

“But the way a leaf moves as it gracefully flutters down from a tree: how can anyone not appreciate that?”

“It’s probably because humans are too lazy to really look at small things like that.”

“It’s no small thing! It’s a huge thing, as huge as the forest itself.” Shizuha spreads out her arms to show her interpretation of its size.

“It may be huge, but still not very useful.”

Shizuha’s eyes begin to water. “Mini… H-how could you say something like that?”

“No, no, no… I didn’t mean it like that,” Minoriko comforted. “Of course you’re important, onee-chan. But maybe the Human Village just isn’t your place like it is in the forest.”

“Pyuu…” Shizuha mutters in disappointment. Then, a light bulb flashes over her head. “If they can’t appreciate it, then I’ll just have to teach the humans to. And I could show them at the harvest ceremony!”

“Didn’t you hear what I just explained? I’m not sure the humans would appreciate an uninvited guest. And besides, I need you to stay home and watch the house—“

“Aww, but please, Mini?” I have to show humans the beauty of leaves in autumn. They’ll only really pay attention at the ceremony. And aren’t we sisters? We sisters have to stay together, right?” Shizuha puts her hands on Minoriko’s shoulders.

“Oh…” Minoriko couldn’t resist the look in her sister’s eyes and gives in. “Alright, alright, onee-chan. You can come with me to the village.”

“Yay!” Shizuha throws her arms up in victory. Excitedly, she jumps out the door for the Human Village. “Well, aren’t we going? Come on, Mini!” she beckons.

“Just try to stay out of trouble when we’re there!” Minoriko shouts to her fleeing sister. Shutting and locking the door behind her, she quickly follows behind.

“You worry too much, Mini,” Shizuha calls out behind her, skipping along. Among the falling leaves of the forest, the two sisters make their way to the Human Village. Rather than fly over the landscape, they prefer to run through the crisp leaves of autumn. All around them, the orange stars fall off the trees and scatter on the color-filled floor of the forest. They distinctively crunch underneath as the sisters walk over them. The unique rhythm and sounds of the leaves create what the people of Gensokyo call “Aki’s March.”
« Last Edit: June 07, 2011, 10:52:06 PM by Yuyuko Yakumo »
I know, I know. I'll get a real avatar and signature soon. -_-

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #817 on: June 08, 2011, 08:29:59 AM »
Remember my original warning about rambling and having it being overly long. You haven't hit that point yet, but just keep it in mind.

If this prompt gets rounded out before Midnight on Wednesday (EST) then I'll have another prompt ready, complete with a fancy gimmick.

Yuyuko Yakumo

  • Carry me~ow
  • Rawr I eat your face with maaaaaagicalness
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #818 on: June 08, 2011, 07:57:29 PM »
Remember my original warning about rambling and having it being overly long. You haven't hit that point yet, but just keep it in mind.

If this prompt gets rounded out before Midnight on Wednesday (EST) then I'll have another prompt ready, complete with a fancy gimmick.
Oh, mine's finished for now. I think what I have is good enough as a standalone. I just mean if anyone's interested, I'll put up what happens after.
I know, I know. I'll get a real avatar and signature soon. -_-

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #819 on: June 09, 2011, 12:45:00 AM »
Well, then, in that case, zeeky bookey doog.



So of the five we have here, I'm going to have to say that I enjoyed Logos' the most. We managed to get two sides of a similar issue, and even explaining a bit of backstory for both of the Shrine Maidens without having to ramble on and on about past history that isn't completely necessary to the story at hand - and imagining Sanae having to do Divinely Assigned Homework, followed up by Reimu being trollishly educated by her predecessors, was fun.

Coming up next was theshim - and I really do wish you'd participate in the WWC more often, you're a good writer. The simple reminder that 'kappa are water creatures' is a refreshing tidbit, rather than the constant 'BUAHAHAH MAD SCIENCE!' image a lot of people cultivate. And I'll admit, too, I'm a little curious as to the exact purpose of Mokou's commissioned device. Was it a fire extinguisher of some sort?

Yuyuko Yakumo's story takes third, just for the rather unfortunate reason of being the most well-written of the remaining three. There are the least amount of grammatical and spelling errors in your story; otherwise, I'd have to dock it for being a near exact duplicate of one of the very sparse Doujins centered on the Aki Sisters. Despite having read the story before - albeit in picture format - it's still got nice touches. For example, sleepy-head Shizuha, and apple-jam toast. I kind of want to make some, now.

For CS and Sankako, don't take slight. Yes, there is room for improvement - spelling and grammar, mostly. With the exception of a few sparse bits in Sankako's story, flow isn't an issue for either of you, and the stories were very fun regardless. A bit over the top, in Sankako's case, whatwith the vagrant Hieda no Akyu, but still cute. Especially with Yuugi bearhugging Shikieiki. Rinnosuke and Tewi trolling the faeries and lesser youkai for their money to play Left 4 Dead was nice, too - especially with how you opened the story, writing it like it was from their actual perspective inside the game, rather than just sitting at the computers. Easy to imagine them getting caught up and immersed in it - or, in short, having loads of faerie fun.



Well, I promised another prompt, didn't I? Complete with silliness, too!

Motivation to the Magic

Another battery of short stories. Pick a character and give us some insight on why they use the magic and danmaku that they do. You can write this essay-style if you want to, or situational drama style, or straight up questionnaire/interview style. Judgements based on structure and flow for this set will be far more lax depending on how you decide to present your story; spelling and grammar will still help you out, and of course, the actual content of your piece will be the primary factors.

The gimmick that I mentioned earlier, though, is that you will have to write about who the previous writer tells you to! So, once you get your story submitted, just dump in a character name for the next person to have to write about.

Yes, this could become very messy, whatwith some people only taking a half-hour to hammer out a good story and jumping ahead of you and then assigning a new character. For multiple stories based on the same person, provided they are posted with a few-hour window of the first, each person will be graded against other writers of that character. In such a situation, only the first submitted stories' required character will be honored for any other pieces that follow.

There is no entry limit to this prompt; any stories that are posted before Noon, Saturday EST will be judged.

Your first character is Alice Margatroid. Let's get to writin'!

Kips McKipzerson

  • I never did learn
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #820 on: June 09, 2011, 02:48:39 AM »
Welp I've made my entry and damn that felt really good to write again. I'm posting this here as well as my own topic, I hope its no big problem. I also have a bad habit when it comes to dialogue, so I try to stay focused on one character, And I also think I strayed from the point a bit too. Ah well, I think I still got it across. Anyways, on with the show!
__________________________________________________________________________________________

?Hello, And my name is Alice Margatroid, But you already knew that. Oh, You wanted to hear my life story? Are you sure, Because once I start, I wont stop until the end~?

You nod. After all, This is the reason you?ve been visiting her, you want to get to know her.

?Very well.

It all started when Shinki found me as a child somewhere in Makai. She was surprised I wasn?t dead from the miasma and decided to take me in, As for some reason she felt a bond to me and still attempts to talk to me this day. I know she loves me but she?s just a little? Overprotective you know? She?d flip out if she heard I was dating,
Let alone a human.?

You nod. ?Go on, my dear. I?m sure that you didn?t just become who are you today in that short of a span.?

She gives you a flick to the head. ?I?m not over yet silly~

Anyways, Back on topic, Shinki decided to take me in. However, her? ah, ?children? didn?t really take new kindly to new blood, especially a kind that took up all of their mother?s attention. But that?s only natural, right??

Well yeah, You know this, You?ve got a sister who bullies you all the time. You open your mouth for a response, But

Alice stops you. ?Not yet~? she says.

?What wasnt natural was that the went to no end to bring harm upon me. The only reason I?m really alive is because Yumeko was protecting me. I really cant understand why Yuki and Mai hated me so must as to draw blood. I tried to keep this a secret from Mo- Shinki, But apparently she could tell something was upsetting me. ?Is something wrong dearie?? She would ask, while I wouldn?t answer. It was like this for years until she finally stumbled onto what was actually happening.?

Is she about to? cry? With the little magical prowess you have, You decide that the doll Alice gave you, Kirisame, Should go and get Alice some tissues. ?Are you sure you really want to talk about this? You don?t have to go o-?

She sighs. ?I wanted to tell you, and if I really didn?t want you to know I would just never tell you this. Besides, I can tell you really want to know about how I came to be who I am today.

Hell, If it weren?t for those two trying to kill me in my sleep that one night, I wouldn?t even be alive right now. I?d just be a human, And by now I would be five-hundred and thirty two. If anything, I really have to thank them, They trained my senses even if I liked it or not. I could tell by the smell of their food if it was poison or not, I could see the ways they twitched whenever Shinki came by, And a whole other assortment of things. Who knows? Maybe they were actually trying to help me.?

?That? Seems like an optimistic way to look at it. Are you sure that they would even think that? I mean I never knew them and all? But I guess maybe you have a point. After all, Even though many siblings hate each-other, They still love each other. And now that I think about it, Only Youkai and Shinkis Creations can live through that miasma right??

?That is indeed correct.? Alice states. Who knows? Maybe they didn?t even know she was a human in the first place, And thought that ?killing? her would just be a scab that would be gone tomorrow?

?But that?s besides the point. Please go on dear.? You make a motion with your hand for her to move on.

?Well, okay, If you insi- Ow! What was that?!? she cried out.

You apologize, and explain Kirisame was out while giving her some tissues.

?Well whatever!

Anyways, each time they tried to get rid of me, I got stronger. I learnt magic as a means to defend myself, and learnt at how I was so precise with magic I could create a living being, just like Mo- I mean Shinki. There were many other reasons, Mostly luxury and the such. But however, Back to the point.?

She takes a tissues, wipes her nose and goes back to her speech.

?Now all secrets must come to an end. Shinki found us one night. I had set a trap that would wake me up while releasing a short burst of magic, so then I fell asleep with no problems. Afterwards, The two walked in, Just as planned. However, a room away was Shinki, And she sensed the trap I had made and rushed to my room worried for my safety. She happened to walk in seeing her own two creations with a knife in their hand.

After that, She was scared. She scolded the two, But that only made it worse. Any good feelings Yuki and Mai had towards me before were gone by this point, And only served to Mothers paranoia. All she could do was watch me, Looking through her library for a solution ? Any solution. As long as I would be safe.?

?And that?s how you got your Grimoire?? You ponder.

?Why yes, Yes it is.

Mother thought turning me into a youkai would save me, keep me safe, or at least do something to help. However she was wrong. The process was like having thousands of poisoned needles hitting one pressure point at a time. Suffice to say, It was a horrible experience and to this day I can practically feel the pain to it. The process got halted by those two, and well? All my mana got drained from my body. I couldn?t gather any sort of magic whatsoever.?

You nod in understanding and sympathy.

?This was the worst thing for a magician such as myself. I was defenseless, No magic, No physical strength, Nothing. I felt lost, And I didn?t know what to do. I took the book in hopes of destroying it and fled. I ran as far as I could away from Makai, And found myself in this very spot in the Forest of Magic. I wanted to relearn everything, I wanted to be my old self again, And most importantly I wanted to get back at those two ?sisters? of mine.

After a while, All I could think about was magic. I wanted to learn fire spells, Water, Earth, Any sort of spell. Nothing worked. I was the best mage in makai, Able to summon forces more powerful then a god, And make the elements bend to my will. I started to lose it. I cried days on end, And I tried my best to use any sort of spell, And one day it came to me ? I was magicless. I killed myself many times over, and over and over and over yet nothing happened. The only thing there was insanity.?

You think you have an idea at where this is going?

?I wandered out into the forest one day, Decided to bang my head against a tree until I bled out and came back again. A girl was coming by, She was nothing serious so I paid her no mind. I was wrong.

The girl was Marisa Kirisame, The person who rekindled my passion for magic. Back then, She was only 5, and had an obsession with showing me her ?dollies?. It was cute really, so I tried casting my magic around her, see if I could impress her. That?s when I moved my first doll, Which is Shanghai right here.? She motions to her shoulder and points to the shanghai doll waving at you.

?I found my purpose again. I felt motivated, Like I could do anything should I put my mind to it. I took Marisa under my wing and taught her as much about doll magic as I could, even though I was still learning myself. It felt great whenever I showed her a doll doing a certain thing, like cleaning up the floor and tripping. I felt truly at peace, And me and Marisa had the best time of our life. But sadly, It was too good to be true.?

She sniffles a bit. It seems like she?s about to cry, So you give her a quick hug ? nothing big of course! ?U-um, go on??

She takes a deep breath. ?Sorry about that. It just hurts to think of her, like there?s a hole in my heart?

She grew older while I stayed the same. By the time she turned 21, I just made Hourai and gave Marisa her. By the time she was 40, I was studying how to make a doll that had its own will. On her deathbed, I was searching for a way to keep her alive. I tried everything, But nothing came true. She died holding my hands, and then I sunk back into the pits of despair for a while.?

?You really must?va had it rough?? You give her a quick peck on the cheek. ?Go on, Unless that?s all.?

?Oh, It?s that late already? Well, I?ve not much more, so here we go.? She sighs, and calms herself a bit.

?I made a resolve ? ?I?ll finish my, no, our lives dream! It?s what she would want!? I felt motivated again, And eventually I came to terms that she was dead and there was nothing I could do for her. However, Even though I was thinking with a straight head, I still decided to keep that resolve. If the Yama sent her to Heaven, I would only be hoping she would see me working on Shanghai here. After about 60 years, By the time I was 287, I finished. It took took human lifespans, But I did it. I felt on top of the world when I made our lives dream come true. Shanghai was to be our daughter, because I loved Marisa, I really did. When Shanghai was finished, I started working on another project. That project was the doll you have in your hands; Named after Marisa Kirisame.?

Wow? That was a lot.

?Thank you for listening though. It felt really good to get that off my chest, And no ones ever really cared enough to listen to me. So, Shall we work on Kirisame again this evening??

_____________________________________________________________________________

Since I'm feeling nice, The next person can do Marisa Kirisame!

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #821 on: June 10, 2011, 04:02:49 AM »
Here's my entry before I forget about it.

Marisa Kirisame?s Journal - March 18, 19XX - Gensokyo Time

Lately, I?ve been trying to remember how I became known as ?The Ordinary Magician?. I can?t remember any of the details of what happened before that one day, when I was 8 years old. I remember the date exactly, it was April 6th. Seeing how close the dates are, I decided to investigate a bit about my past. Of course, I had no idea where to start. After pondering a bit this morning, I got an idea: I would first ask Akyuu if she knew anything.

When I got to her mansion in the Human Village, I lightly knocked on the door. It was rare for the lady to get visitors, and when she did, it was often because of cases similar to mine. However, I had a severe case of amnesia, so naturally I stood out as a unique case in Gensoukyo. Almost everyone else here knows how they got their magic abilities and became who they are today. As I thought about this, I became so frustrated that I wanted to punch something. All of those feelings vanished as the door opened, leaving me surprised.

Right there, in the doorway, stood the girl named Akyuu Heida. I was flustered a bit, so she told me to calm down and take a few breaths. I did so, and when I finished, she asked me to come in. As I did so, I slipped off my shoes at the entrance and closed the door behind me. I then followed her across the room to and into a door, which lead to what looked like a study. It was not as complete as a library perhaps, but there was probably every single book about history that I could think of. She motioned me to sit across from her at a big table with a scroll and a bottle of ink with a pen inside. We then began our talk. She said that she did know a little about the Kirisame history, and grabbed a book from a shelf entitled ?The Life of Mr. Kirisame.? I asked her where she obtained such a book. She then replied that my father requested her to write the book, which was his biography, and then show it to me on the anniversary of April 6th of this year. She said, however, that since the dates were so close together, that she might as well read it to me today.

My father was a very respectable magician known throughout Gensoukyo as Mr. Kirisame. At the age of 22, he married my mother, who was 23 at the time. My mother?s name was left out of the biography for a very good reason: my father?s parents were very against him marrying a human, out of all people. They didn?t understand why he couldn?t just marry another magician, therefore passing on his magic to the next generation. Obviously, he disregarded their wishes and married the woman he loved anyway. He then fled to The Forest of Magic with my mother. A year after their marriage, I was born. Unfortunately, there was news that my parents were still trying to hunt down my father. So my father left me in an abandoned house with the Hakkero that I still carry around to this day.

I was shocked to learned that I was abandoned by my own parents, but Akyuu asked me to calm down, telling me that there was more to the story. She also showed me a piece of a newspaper that my father put in the book. A few days after my parents fled The Forest of Magic, they were found by my father?s parents. My own grandparents were about to murder them, but then a strange princess by the name of Kotohime arrived just in time. She had my grandparents arrested and thrown into jail for the rest of their lives. My mother and father tried to find me again, but were unsuccessful. This is due to Rinnosuke Morichika finding me in the abandoned house while searching for mushrooms in the forest. He took me into his home and took care of me as his own child. My parents conceded me to him, as they had pity that he would never have children as he?s half human and half youkai. My parents then left Gensoukyo forever, wanting to find their happiness elsewhere in the world.

I remembered the rest of the story, so I asked Akyuu to stop so that I could fill in what I remembered. I then told her how Rinnosuke taught me my magic through books when I was growing up. I was particularly intrigued by star shaped danmaku, so he encouraged me to specialize in that. He also suggested that I pick up a name if I ever hoped to be a notorious magician. I got the idea to name myself the Ordinary Magician, because of who my parents were, a magician and a human.

I then thanked Akyuu for her help, bowed, and took my leave. She wished me luck as I left her house. I walked back to The Forest of Magic with a smile of satisfaction; I had finally learned of the past that I thought was long-forgotten. Now, I?ll end this journal entry so that I can get some sleep.

The Ordinary Magician,
Marisa Kirisame.

For the next writer, I give you Sanae. Good luck to whoever writes about her!

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #822 on: June 11, 2011, 09:44:27 AM »
Seems to have hit a stand-still.



Sanae Kochiya was a morning person. She woke up before the sun rose, tidied her bedclothes and packed away her futon, and had breakfast cooking before either of the Youkai Mountain Shrine's deities woke up.

Both Goddesses could be described as 'morning people', as well, though they didn't truly have issues waking up regardless. They just... slept, and then were awake. At times, they didn't sleep for weeks, though being divine tends to help maintain sanity in that situation.

Kanako and Suwako would come out to the table and sit down in unison, and meditate while Sanae cooked. Meager portions or massive, they'd eat everything, ask for one plate of seconds, and then be done and satisfied. Despite this, they would make sure to offer appropriate commentary based on her cooking; 'the eggs are little bland this morning, are we out of seasoning?' 'We should have bacon in more meals, that was delicious.'

As such, there was no reason for her not to try her best, and not to slack off while cooking. She had to eat what she made, as well, of course, but because the Goddesses would actually complain about or compliment her food was another good reason.

After breakfast, her daily chores would be tackled with the same gusto and enthusiasm. Depending on the seasons, the shrine grounds may need to be cleared away, be it by straw and bamboo broom or by simply calling upon the Divine Wind and sending all the leaves and debris away in a single, colorful burst. According to some of the tengu, they really preferred it when she did that, because it made the top of the mountain look beautiful in the rising sunlight, with all of autumn's leaves swirling down and catching the dawn-light. Kanako, of course, scoffed, and said that was abusing her Divine Gifts.

The offertory box was dusted off on a regular basis, and more sparsely, given a good polish and occasionally a new coat of varnish. It wasn't traditional, but being on top of a mountain, exposed to the elements, with all manner of Nature spirits passing through, it saw its fair share of wear and tear. Sanae tended to it just as she did breakfast, and sweeping; with cheerful enthusiasm and determination.

After the shrine was cleaned out for the day, barring Suwako or Kanako having any direct requests from her, she went and made herself publicly visible throughout the Youkai Mountain valley, visiting the crow tengu aeries, the wolf tengu dens, and the kappa's encampment at the base of the mountain. Simple public visits, making herself available for conversation, and keeping up-to-date with her local neighbors' community was one of the most effective tools for maintaining the faith in her shrine.

As the seasons passed, the Human Village would hold festivals, celebrating harvests, or, anything that warranted celebration. She looked forward to these the most, for no particular reason. The festivals were just so exciting and fun, full of people, and almost always plenty of good food and drink to enjoy with a fireworks display - more often than not, danmaku magic provided by the Forest Shrine Maiden, Reimu, and her friend, Suika.

The other Miko confounded her. So bored, jaded, and cynical most of the time. When crossed, however, quick, and absolute. Sanae only caught her smiling less out of humor and more out of mirth or sarcasm, as though she were more amused at the thought of someone's fortune turning, rather than seeing actual humor in a situation.

Though Reimu had Sanae thoroughly confused most of the times, during the festivals, Reimu truly seemed as though she were enjoying herself. Content to see this mark of humanity, this sign that Reimu was more than just a hollow shell of a vindictive youkai exterminator, Sanae was able to think on her situation.

Of course. It all drew back to the monotony of daily life. Before coming to Gensokyo, Sanae had been a Living Goddess, who seemed to attract miracles. Of course, she was one of the only people in her entire region who was spiritual enough to even see Kanako and Suwako. Because of this, she was only ever called on for 'desperate cases' for exorcisms, or yearly winter festivals. Each day, she woke up, and didn't get out of bed for hours, just staring at the ceiling, hoping something different would happen. She was bored, jaded, and cynical.

Then she came to Gensokyo. Her status as a Living Goddess no longer set her apart from everyone around her - instead, it put her on level playing ground. No longer ostracized for her otherworldly aura, she began to explore life, and enjoy it for all its little nuances. When she heard the original Gensokyo shrine miko was a human, as well, and attempted to challenge her for rights to a branch shrine, she was shocked at how completely and thoroughly she'd been defeated by the other girls' sheer magical prowess. She hadn't had to invoke any divine ability but once or twice in their entire duel - and yet, even though Reimu so easily outclassed Sanae, after obliterating her entire stock of spellcards, she simply... stopped, and went back to her shrine, content to let Sanae maintain the Moriya Shrine.

Content, and jaded, as Reimu was wont to do things. But, someday, perhaps, Sanae could get Reimu to enjoy life, and respect it, as a proper Shinto Maiden should. So, until then, she was going to do things Reimu's way - spellcards and danmaku - until she could put herself back into an advantaged state over the other miko, and perhaps challenge her, just to get her attention, then remind her just how amazing and wonderful living in Gensokyo was. Perhaps she'd take her back to the mundane world, and show her just how blessed she had it, being surrounded by such unadulterated nature.

Sanae knew she'd never take another day for granted, now that she knew how amazing it could be.



Next one is any of the residents of Chireiden's Earth Spirit Palace~

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #823 on: June 12, 2011, 01:38:31 AM »
For the Motivation Behind the Magic prompt, we only had two entries.

A nice piece from Kips, as told from the point of view of a nameless, faceless identity we are meant to project ourselves onto. Clearly Kips will move on to writing for eroge VNs.

The story of Alice was very nice, and I especially liked the bit with the Sibling Rivalry on Steroids - a very nice twist to Alice's relationship with the other bosses of Makai.

Following Kips was Nya~n, who was prompted to write about Marisa Kirisame.

We get a little bit of extra backstory about her parents, not just her - but this is fine, as it provides for her the best foundation for a piece of history, or backstory. My only issue with the story, is 'how did Marisa know about her parents' heritages if she was abandoned at such an early age, then raised by Rinnosuke? How could she have drawn on the crossed talents of her father and her mother to get her moniker?' This is a bit of a glaring loophole, but not a damning one.

Between the two, I can pick no clear winner. Kips, your story was very well planned out, but of course, I have to return to the actual skill level of writing you've got, for now. You still have slightly fractured sentences, and capitalization and quotation marks where they shouldn't be. Nya~n has a better mastery over the written form, though the flow is still a little lacking. You shifted between tenses - flashbacks versus current - erratically, and it was a little jarring. This can be excused by pointing out that it's Marisa writing in her diary, and ergo, she doesn't have to be writing Newberry Award material. That works for this example, but it's not a good habit to get into.

This critique doesn't mean the stories were lackluster. I enjoyed reading both of them; just take the criticism if you want it and see what you can learn from it. Congratulations to the both of you for participating, and thank you!

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #824 on: June 12, 2011, 03:01:03 AM »
Thanks, Esifex, for the review. It was really helpful. :) I did rush a little bit when writing my story (I was a bit nervous for the most part).

I think the one part that I should've really fixed was what you pointed out: the origin of Marisa's title. I thought it would've made sense that Rinnosuke told her about her heritage. I just didn't really notice anything missing back when I was writing.

Thanks again for the review. :)

Kips McKipzerson

  • I never did learn
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #825 on: June 12, 2011, 06:03:44 AM »
A nice piece from Kips, as told from the point of view of a nameless, faceless identity we are meant to project ourselves onto. Clearly Kips will move on to writing for eroge VNs.
This is the best review I ever got. All of my love~
Anyways yeah, Thanks for the review. I actually though I strayed from the point way too far. Though I'm honestly a little disappointed that not too many people wrote for this, But alas, At least Rou didnt write something for this. Then my story would get overshadowed by complete awesome.

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Calm Before the Storm
« Reply #826 on: June 12, 2011, 04:34:24 PM »
I think I kind of blocked Rou from participating in these little challenges by saying 'I want them to be short stories.' I don't think it's possibly for him to write a story under 30k words.

That's not a problem, but... for me to be able to read and judge all the stories so quickly, that would've been a speed bump of epic proportions.

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #827 on: June 14, 2011, 04:25:18 AM »
We're making a bit of a change this week to announce a rather... unique WWC.
June 13, 2011: "Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens"

Spoilers: I actually have no idea what Diablo 2 is about.

At Pesco's request, Touhou Projects and Patchouli's Scarlet Library are getting together this week to hold a joint contest. And unlike the others, this one won't pretend to be done in a week-- two should be fine.

The contest is to write a script for Lord of Maidens. I asked Pesco if people need to be familiar with Diablo 2's story to be able to do this, and he said that it wasn't necessary-- familiarity with Touhou canon/fanon is more important. Here's the script. I expect Pesco will drop in shortly to clarify any questions you may have.

Have fun writing, folks!

Pesco

  • Trickster Rabbit Tewi
  • *
  • Make a yukkuri and take it easy with me
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #828 on: June 14, 2011, 04:56:16 AM »
I'll be around to answer questions about the script and setting as needed.

Yuyuko Yakumo

  • Carry me~ow
  • Rawr I eat your face with maaaaaagicalness
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #829 on: June 14, 2011, 05:25:05 AM »
No clue what Diablo is. But I'll do my best anyways.
I know, I know. I'll get a real avatar and signature soon. -_-

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #830 on: June 14, 2011, 05:31:34 AM »
Here is a link to the Diablo 2 Wiki, just in case.

Pesco

  • Trickster Rabbit Tewi
  • *
  • Make a yukkuri and take it easy with me
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #831 on: June 14, 2011, 05:48:59 AM »
An additional note: You're free to write it in a serious or silly spin. The quest outlines are a guide to the necessary flow of events but we're free to mess around with the context.

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #832 on: June 14, 2011, 06:39:26 AM »
June 13, 2010:

I think you're living in the wrong year. :V

[ruro]I'm always living in the past, sorry :<[/ruro]
« Last Edit: June 14, 2011, 06:57:09 AM by Sugiura Rurouni »

TAKE IT CACODEMON!!

  • OKAY THEN I'M A LEGAL AIDE
  • AND ERIN BROCKOVICH IS MY NAAAME
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #833 on: June 14, 2011, 07:04:24 AM »
So, would it go too far out of the prompt if I had some characters on the good side go mad as well?
Sonata of Scarlet Sunflowers, a Flandre x Yuuka story. | Laziness of Daemonic Wastrels, wherein The Dude, Frylock, HW Guy, and David Wong get their asses kicked in Gensokyo.  | T.O.U.H.O.U.: Land of Shadows, a S.T.A.L.K.E.R./Touhou crossover. | Abomination, a monster story.

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #834 on: June 14, 2011, 08:42:25 AM »
So, would it go too far out of the prompt if I had some characters on the good side go mad as well?
You mean like the actual Diablo canon has established? All of the heroes from Diablo 1 come back in Diablo 2 as bosses to be killed and put down, and in Diablo 3, all the heroes in Diablo 2 - save the Barbarian, who is used to all the violence and carnage - have snapped and gone utterly batshit.

Being an avid fan of Diablo, I think I like this idea :3

{Edit} Just looked at the quest parallels. :getdown: omfg ilu
« Last Edit: June 14, 2011, 08:44:24 AM by Esifex »

Pesco

  • Trickster Rabbit Tewi
  • *
  • Make a yukkuri and take it easy with me
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #835 on: June 14, 2011, 12:43:04 PM »
Esifex has it right. Anyone that's not named as a NPC or specific monster can be slotted into any of the openings for quest or story purposes.

If you think you know your stuff well enough, challenge the character or location renamings too. You'll need to provide some backing for such major changes though.

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #836 on: June 14, 2011, 02:07:46 PM »
I haven't heard of Diablo before this and just riffled through the linked Wiki. A couple of Noob questions:

a) Should the script include proposed characters for each player class and dialogue for them?

b) By script, do you mean like a script to a play (Deterministic progression, timeline tied to player action, in-universe history etc.) or all in-game dialogue (including gossip, flavor text and the like)?

Thanks.

Pesco

  • Trickster Rabbit Tewi
  • *
  • Make a yukkuri and take it easy with me
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #837 on: June 14, 2011, 04:49:54 PM »
I haven't heard of Diablo before this and just riffled through the linked Wiki. A couple of Noob questions:

a) Should the script include proposed characters for each player class and dialogue for them?

You may include it if you want. Something like that would be a tremendous help to me in integrating the story to the mod, but it won't be part of my judging criteria.

Quote
b) By script, do you mean like a script to a play (Deterministic progression, timeline tied to player action, in-universe history etc.) or all in-game dialogue (including gossip, flavor text and the like)?

An in-universe history is the main thing I want. The pastebin script is the general sequence of events. How do you connect them together into something coherent? That is what I will score your submission on.

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #838 on: June 14, 2011, 08:18:57 PM »
Well I gave this a whack. Took a couple of hours to put together, hope it just about works.

-----

At the start of the game, the hero is one of Gensokyo?s travelling youkai hunters - an inexperienced, generally weak line of defense against mundane youkai attack. They can fight off simple fairies and such, but at this point most other opponents are beyond them. They?re paid measly amounts by farmers and other folks on the outskirts of the human village. They are undoubtedly nowhere near the level of Gensokyo?s true defenders - the likes of Reimu Hakurei and Marisa Kirisame. They are the trusted guardians of the realm, the heroes who beat down villains whenever an incident rears its ugly head.

So when Reimu Hakurei abruptly turns on her fellow humans and unleashes a horde of demons on the Human Village, no-one is sure what to think. Many are cut down in the ensuing chaos, but a select few escape. Civilians flee in all directions, but a small resistance group forms around the Nameless Hill in an attempt to claim back the city.

Whether for coin or out of morality, you decide to join up with this small resistance group. Their leader, the were-hakutaku Keine Kamishirasawa, is grateful for your assistance. As a test of your abilities, she has you clear out a horde of monsters in a nearby cavern to ensure the immediate safety of the camp.

There are bigger problems ahead, though. In her journey east, Reimu visited the Scarlet Devil Mansion and released the highly dangerous Flandre Scarlet from her underground prison. The rest of the mansion?s residents have scattered across Gensokyo - Meiling and Patchouli reside in the camp, Remilia has locked herself up in an abandoned tower, and Sakuya has drifted off all the way to the Myouren Temple. Flandre is blocking passage to the east, stopping anyone from following Reimu. To stop the maiden from doing any more damage, the vampire must be slain first.

Patchouli calls upon you to put down her faithful servant Koakuma, who has been driven mad by Flandre?s powers. Again, this only serves to keep the camp safe for a moment - more help is needed if Flandre is to be defeated. Keine suggests the scholar Rinnosuke Morichika - he may know a way to defeat the vampire, and a source for Reimu?s sudden malady.

Unfortunately, Rinnosuke is trapped in the human village, so the player has to perform a daring rescue to save him. He seems as confused as anyone else as to Reimu?s turning, however. He tells you that to defeat Flandre, you will need artifacts of greater power.

Here the blacksmith Ichirin offers her hand. If you can recover her companion Unzan, she will craft you magical equipment that will give you a better chance against the vampire. With the preparations made, you charge into the vampire?s lair to fight her - and succeed.

Now comes the time to chase Reimu. Travelling along with the wandering satori, Koishi Komeiji, you arrive at the Palace of the Earth Spirits. Reimu has left a trail of undead in her wake, and Chireiden is struggling to deal with them. A local tavern master asks you to deal with the creature?s loose in the palace?s sewers, lead by a mighty creature known as Radament. Supposedly they slew her family, and she is thankful to hear of Radament?s passing after you?ve done the deed.

In order to gain the trust of Satori Komeiji, you must recover the Horadric Relics. They were old keepsakes of the satori race, lost when they shifted to the new hell. During your quest for these items, you witness an unusual solar eclipse; this is apparently thanks to a disturbance in the Yatagarasu Temple, which you then raid to gain the last of the Horadric relics.

Finally, after collecting and remaking the Staff, you earn Satori?s trust. There are suspicions that Reimu has now enlisted the help of Makai - a stranger has been asking around for the location of Mima?s Tomb, and it?s believed that Shinki is the only person in Gensokyo to know its location. The only way to find it is to head to Makai through a portal within the palace, and defeat Shinki.

After this, you find the tomb, but it?s too late. It?s already been raided, but not by Reimu - by Mima?s old apprentice, Marisa Kirisame. Rinnosuke is stunned again - Reimu was unusual enough, but Marisa was turning as well? This seems too much to be coincidence now. You?ll need to move double-time to catch the pair before things get worse...

You need to travel further east, and hitch a ride with Captain Minamitsu. She drops you off by the bamboo forest, where her temple is located. She mentions that if you find a Jade Figurine at any point you should hand it to her - if you do, she gives you the Golden Bird of Yagokoro, which you can then trade with Suika for a bottle of rare Oni Beer. It gives you a 20 point bonus to your health - but a crippling headache for the next few hours.

The guardian Shou warns you that the defenses keeping the temple safe from the warped creatures lying within the forest is weakening, and that she needs a dagger that had once belonged to the Lunarian blacksmith Toyohime. It?s named the Lunar Veil, and can be found in the bamboo forest.

Suika mentions a lost tome known as the Gensokyo Chronicles - a history that might raise clues to the evil that?s engulfed the champions. It?s found in an old ruined temple, but all it offers is a mention that ?The Heavens Fall, And Bring About Disaster?...

Meanwhile, it becomes clear all is not well within the bamboo forest. Eientei, amazingly, has fallen - the second shrine maiden, Sanae Kochiya, has been driven mad as well. After slaying both of her gods, she took the temple of Reigetsusai for herself, intending to become her own god. The location of Kaguya and Eirin is unknown, but it?s assumed they?ve found another place to take refuge; perhaps even beyond the border.

The shrine is guarded by one of Kaguya?s old artifacts, the Eternity Orb. To dispel it, you must collect the old relics of Moriya to create the Virtue of Wind God. One of the pieces of it has been claimed by the Fairy Folk - though not known for their intelligence, they once held faithful to the Moriya - now Sanae?s corrupt influence has turned them evil as well, and they must be put down.

With the eternity orb shattered, you enter the shrine of Reigetsusai. Sanae is on the bottom floor, twisted and muttering about how she has embraced her own infinite power. She?s beyond saving, having bought into dark magic just as Reimu has. You are forced to slay her, but afterwards she drops a strange stone...

A portal at the bottom of the shrine sends you to Phantasm, where the last stand against Reimu will take place. Your first order of business is to track down the spirit of the fallen angel Tenshi, who is suspected to be related to the fall of the maidens.

After tracking down and defeating Tenshi, she tells you that it was her who caused the catastrophe. She introduced the three maidens to the power of the Soulstones - Celestial artifacts that allow a human wielder to momentarily embrace their own infinite power and potential. Alas, the feeling is only temporary - and after experiencing it, no human mind can resist the urge to reclaim that power by any means necessary. Thus the three maidens warped, and turned into the evils they are today.

Reimu saw fit to press down further against the youkai who already feared her, and thus she became the Maiden of Terror. Sanae grew jealous of her gods and all those stronger than her, and she became the Maiden of Hatred. Marisa simply sought the ultimate power, and became the Maiden of Destruction.

Why did Tenshi do this? No reason other than boredom. She was tired of the cheerful, happy, eventless days in Heaven, and if she had to fall to have some fun she?d damn well do it. You recall the story in the Gensokyo Chronicles - The Heavens Fall, And Bring About Disaster...

After learning the importance of the Soulstones, you are ordered to destroy the stone you recovered from Sanae. This requires you to visit a special forge in the depths of Phantasm and destroy it with an enchanted hammer.

With all things said and done, all that is left is a confrontation with Reimu herself. You must unlock the seals guarding her fortress, and then slay her. She attempts to frighten you, speaking of her mighty escapades over the years, and how you are a fool for standing against her - yet you stay firm, challenge her to a final battle, and succeed.

But what of the third maiden? What of Marisa? The answer becomes clear soon afterward - a disturbance has occurred in Mayohiga, and you are called upon to defend the village from attack.

The first request made of you on your arrival in Mayohiga is a simple one: Marisa has summoned a greater demon to lead the siege on Mayohiga, so you?re expected to kill it. You do so, much to the satisfaction of the blacksmith Nitori.

Yuugi then asks you to retrieve prisoners of war, taken captive around the mountains. On doing this for her she offers you powerful runes which she hopes will improve your odds against the witch.

The healer, Ran, has her own troubles. Her shikigami, Chen, went missing just before your arrival, and the last she saw of her was her meeting with the poltergeist Layla Prismriver. Layla is well trusted in Mayohiga - her sisters have become the guardians of the nearby mountain since Reimu?s fall from grace - but it becomes clear that she is jealous of her sisters being taken as guardians while she is ignored. She has offered Marisa the Divine Baton, which will allow her to enter the mountain unimpeded and attack the Worldstone. This stone is the artifact that keeps the border of Gensokyo stable in the event that the Hakurei maiden should pass on - and you killed her in the previous act. If the stone should fall, Gensokyo?s border would collapse, linking it once again to the outside world. This is a catastrophic turn of events, and you must stop it at all costs.

After rescuing Chen and killing Layla, you climb the mountain yourself, taking on the challenges that the Prismrivers lay to test you. After you succeed, you learn Marisa is already well ahead of you, corrupting the Worldstone at this very instant. When you find her, she speaks of how her ambition was greater than that of the other maidens - they sought only the power of their own souls. With the Worldstone, she can tap into the power of every soul in Gensokyo.

After a long and difficult battle, Marisa is defeated, but the damage is already done. The Judge of Paradise, Shikieiki, appears to tell you that it?s too late to save the Worldstone. The Great Border will fall, exposing Gensokyo to the outside world, but compared to the risk of Marisa consuming the strength of its residents that is a small price. She thanks you for your efforts, and offers you a portal of escape so that you can avoid the ensuing collapse of the Worldstone.

As the game ends, Gensokyo reunites with the outside world. You are uncertain as to what fate will befall this land as it once again joins the human world of beyond. Will they still fear the youkai, as they did centuries before? Whatever happens, you are certain of one thing - should any threat befall Gensokyo, you will fight to defend it.

No matter what the cost, and no matter what atrocities you must commit.

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Reimu 2: Lord of Maidens
« Reply #839 on: June 15, 2011, 12:10:27 AM »
Roukan, I'm kidnapping you, and we're running away to the country to write stories for each other. Possibly in some beach-side villa.